Think of all the Biblical imagery of warriors, battles, and armor. Through all of Scripture, God uses symbols, word-pictures and parables to communicate with His people. He knows we’re visual—He created us that way. Is this imagery purely allegorical? No, I believe God’s preparing men for battle—very real, spiritual battle. Sometimes the weapon will be a pen, sometimes the tongue, and sometimes prayer fought on one’s knees, but always it will be the intense, demanding work of a warrior who has prepared for battle.
I think women especially are uncomfortable with this idea. Yes, we’re willing for our sons to be protectors. I mean, that seems good for us in the long run, but warriors? We don’t want them going out and looking for a fight, do we? How about a very gentle, philosophical kind of warrior—isn’t that better anyway? Does it really have to be hard, dangerous, or painful?
In the evil day in which we find ourselves, it isn’t difficult to look to the future and imagine the kinds of persecution and temptations our sons will face, starting with battling sexual temptation at ever-earlier ages. The government is constantly taking control over more areas of our lives, which will inevitably lead to Christians being more and more at odds with the law. In the medical field, doctors are losing conscience-exclusions, parents are fighting the government for the right to raise their children in a Biblical manner, and teachers and professors are losing their jobs for being faithful with their Christian witness. These are just some examples we’re seeing already that will only become more intense as our culture leaves behind our Judeo-Christian heritage.
So how can we, as mothers, hope to raise warriors that are prepared for battle? The primary hurdle is realizing that it is indeed necessary; the second one is acting accordingly. Do we ask our husbands how we can help in raising courageous sons, or do we try to lull them into complacency in our own denial? Think about the future, read about the past, and study parents in Scripture, thinking about how they did or did not prepare their sons for manhood: David and Absalom , Sampson, Solomon and Rehoboam and Jeroboam, Eli and his sons, Zacharias and Elizabeth with John the Baptist, and Abraham with Isaac.
Also essential to raising fighters is to avoid coddling our sons in their boyhood. How can they grow into manhood when we prevent them from ever having responsibility, facing consequences, or fighting their own fights? Would David have been the warrior that he was if Jesse hadn’t trusted him to protect the sheep? We ought to let our sons experience danger—climb trees, leave our sight, build high forts, chop wood. This is how God made our sons, and if we try to suppress it we force them into hollow simulations of danger like computer games. God created boys with heroic instincts which will have an outlet; they can either be nurtured, becoming God-honoring and fruitful, or neglected, resulting in barren narcissism. In all of this, we must trust our sons’ safety to God’s protection.
One tool that my husband and I have discovered with our sons is literature. We use a homeschool curriculum (amblesideonline.org) that requires a lot of reading aloud and discussion. We are currently reading several books with our first and second grade sons which emphasize heroism, sacrifice and courage. Especially rewarding is learning the history of the church, beginning with the history of martyrdom (Trial and Triumph, Canon Press.) It is written for all ages and takes a good deal of explanation for our boys right now (and can be a bit intense), but even from a young age, it helps our boys be aware that people have died and been tortured for their faith throughout history.
God has also given us the book of Proverbs, much of which is explicitly written to impart wisdom to young men. Use this tool. It is an aid in training even our youngest. It can be memorized, read, discussed, copied—for like all of Scripture, it is “inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.” (2 Tim 3:16)
Finally and most importantly, we must remember that unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain (Ps 127:1). Without prayer covering all our feeble work, it will amount to nothing. Be faithful in lifting up your children in prayer before the Lord, asking that you would be faithful in discipline and that it would bear fruit in their lives. Only the Lord can raise warriors that will be faithful in serving Him with their lives, and may He do so in our homes!

Comments
Heather, this post is such a
Heather, this post is such a huge encouragement! I now am eager to study some of the parents from scripture as well as the Proverbs to glean much wisdom.
Emily, I'm so glad this has
Emily, I'm so glad this has been a help to you. Now I only need to do those same things I recommended myself! :)
Heather, I cringed when I
Heather, I cringed when I read the 'chopping wood' suggestion above. My mind is thinking, "Oh, no. Surely not that- it could actually be harmful. I mean, what if they slipped and chopped into their leg. Climbing trees and playing in the woods are fine, but giving them a blade: nuh-uh." And, it goes on. And, I don't even have kids, much less boys. Yikes.
It just shows my own doubting heart that doesn't want to trust God with things that I love. So, I think I too will need to be studying those verses. :)
Hi Heather, Thank you for
Hi Heather,
Thank you for this courageous post. I've never met a mother who didn't need to hear this word about the dangers of overprotecting our sons, and yet it seems a word that few people, even in the church, are willing to speak. Glorious manhood has fallen on hard times in our culture and it seems that soft, metro-sexual, and effeminate is all the rage. I agree with what you said about us often squashing budding heroism in our boys. We will definitely read Trials and Heroism because I think stories, like you said, can uniquely portray the greatness of being a warrior and fighting for something that is good. The desire to fight is innate in nearly every boy, but channeling it in the right direction without eliminating it, is the challenge.
Heather, Thank you for this
Heather,
Thank you for this encouragement. It is so true that if you don't give your sons opportunities to experience REAL danger in service of others (chopping wood is a great example, and there are so many others: protesting abortion, writing unpopular letters to the editors, standing up to a teacher who is pushing a pro-sex, anti-God agenda in the classroom), if you do not delight in this kind of warfare from your sons, they'll often give expression to their God-given inclinations by turning to the simulated danger of video games. No risk, some adrenaline (but nothing like the real thing they were made for), lots of time wasting.
"Do we ask our husbands how we can help in raising courageous sons, or do we try to lull them into complacency in our own denial?" Most excellent question! Let's ask our husbands, and delight in their manliness as well. What a glorious calling to be part of nurturing real masculinity in our sons, just when the world needs it most.
It is not easy to balance
It is not easy to balance training our boys to be brave and masculine...and civilizing them so they are fit for polite company. We fight against our culture the entire time...and against ourselves at times.
I have a most trustworthy husband, so the struggle has been easier for me in some ways. I just needed to get out of the way. Three of our boys were working with sharp knives, under careful instruction and supervision, since before the age of 3. The other two took a few months longer to gain the necessary coordination. From then on, my husband taught them all the sorts of guy stuff they longed to do...and then they got older and learned more stuff on their own.
Warning: if you are going to take this warrior trainng seriously, expecting boys to act like polite little girls and sit quietly while absorbing character lessons from books will not work...unless all you want is whimpy wannabees. Be prepared for the accumulation of arsenals and for the fact that real boys outgrow their toy guns by the age of 8 or so. And it won't just be guns and knives...but catapults and weapons you've never heard of...and smoke bombs and other explosives. (For the sake of safety, buy the book "Backyard Ballistics" by the time your oldest boy turns 10. They will think you are the coolest mom in the world, especially if you laugh when they rename it "How to Blow up Your Backyard.")
Let your boys be warriors in training, knowing that they will not be fully satisfied unless danger is involved. But make sure they are also taught the warrior skills of weapons safety, responsibility, etc.
And never, never, NEVER say, "Boys will be boys". That's not the sort of boys you are raising.
Lizzie, I have to admit our
Lizzie, I have to admit our boys aren't chopping wood yet :) Safety and trust do have to be established before setting them loose. But we just started reading Farmer Boy aloud this morning in front of the fire as the snow swirled outside, and I'm already realizing how much responsibility belonged to children in centuries past.
Leslie, You and Chris are two that I look to for direction in this area. I also think about the expectations your in-laws had in the raising of their 3 sons. Definitely read the book. It's good. And feel free to pass along any advice in channeling this energy and desire to fight in boys.
Dear Heather, Thanks so much
Dear Heather,
Thanks so much for this post. I often have to fight my strong desire to protect my 3 year old son from experiences and responsibility that he needs. He is most certainly not created like his older sister and it is a glorious challenge to raise them each as God intends. Thanks for the encouragement and the resources.
Grace, Don't be too hard on
Grace,
Don't be too hard on yourself--3 is pretty young :) I'm glad you enjoyed the post and hope it is helpful for you as time passes. Thanks for your comment.
And Barbara and Rebecca, thank you for your additional wisdom and encouragement in this area.
I do believe that literature
I do believe that literature is a powerful tool for encouraging our future men in "heroism, sacrifice and courage." I would love to hear more suggestions for quality books of this nature.
Future Men by Doug Wilson is
Future Men by Doug Wilson is very good at pointing to the importance of raising boys to be men. He covers specific things boys and men are tempted by and how to train our boys with an eye towards those things as parents. He also spends some time talking specifically to mothers and also about boys and their sisters.
Yes, Future Men is an
Yes, Future Men is an excellent book to read in regards to learning how and why to raise your boys in this way. As far as more literature for reading to your boys, maybe Barbara Lehr will have some recommendations?
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