I have to admit, every time I read those verses I shrug my shoulders and think, “Oh well, I’ll never have a gentle and quiet spirit.” Then I move on. I do want to be precious in the sight of God, but it’s just not me: I love to kick back and have a good time. I’m outgoing, I can be quite loud, I like to tell stories, and I love to laugh. None of those traits fall under the category of a “gentle and quiet spirit” in my book.
Maybe we should look at some other translations and see what they say. Oh, bummer. They all say exactly the same thing: gentle and quiet spirit. Maybe the words don’t really mean what we think they mean…Let’s see, gentle: “mild, calm, kind, tender.” Quiet: “calm, peaceful, silent.” Hmmm, it’s actually not getting any better here.
And then it hits me (with some thanks to Nancy Wilson). Peter is not telling us to have a gentle and quiet personality. He is telling us to have a gentle and quiet spirit. So what is the difference? It’s easy to see what a gentle and quiet personality is. It’s one of those ladies sitting demurely with a cup of tea. It’s not so easy to see what a gentle and quiet spirit is. I mean, what does that look like?
Let’s start with the question, “What is our spirit?” Without getting too technical, our spirit is our heart, our faith, our character. So now if we read the verse with the right understanding of “spirit”, we can make sense of it and we no longer need to shrug with resignation. We don’t have to change our personalities. God made us as unique women, to enjoy and be enjoyed by Him. God wants us to live in faith, trusting Him, no matter what our personality is.
A new favorite verse of mine is Ps 131:2, Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with his mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. If you picture a weaned toddler sitting on his mother’s lap, compared to a hungry infant rooting around in hunger, it gives a wonderful picture of what we want to be.
It’s a comfort to know that we can be the women who God created us to be, with our many gifts and personalities. We are not meant to all be quiet and demure, but we are meant to have gentle and quiet spirits as we trust, love and obey our heavenly Father.
Comments
I am so glad that I read
I am so glad that I read this! I have always struggled with this verse because I do not have a gentle and quiet personality -- and I have not heard anyone put it this way before. Knowing that I don't have to change my personality to follow scripture and bring glory to God is such a relief!
Thank you Mary Lee. That
Thank you Mary Lee. That difference between the frantic newborn and the weaned child is very helpful for me. When I also despair of never having a gentle and quiet personality, I can have hope that God is bringing to completion that which He has begun in me, and that He will keep disciplining me and guiding me so that I too will rest comfortably in His providence, not frantically wailing and lashing about, set on getting my own way right now!
So I come away from this
So I come away from this wonderful post with the idea that a gentle and quiet spirit means...
"God wants us to live in faith, trusting Him, no matter what our personality is."
Thanks - that is very comforting and meaningful for me right now.
Drat. This also means that
Drat. This also means that those of us who usually fall on the quieter side of the personality scale can't be too quick to say, "Check! At least I've got THAT one under my belt!" when we read that part of the verse. Masks of shyness or soft-speaking can cover hearts of rebellion and discontent, too.
Kaitlyn, your comment made me
Kaitlyn, your comment made me laugh out loud. You are so right. You do not have a corner on obedience to this verse just because you are quiet :)
Now that you know, you may as well get loud. I love you. ML
Kaitlyn, what a good
Kaitlyn, what a good reminder! It's way too easy for me to rest on my laurels of being shy and reserved, thinking that that fulfills the verse, while all the while there is turmoil and sin in my heart!
I can think of several people
I can think of several people I have known through the years who have a quiet and reserved personality, but have restless and fearful spirits. In fact, often a fearful spirit can make one more reserved, while peacefulness of spirit enables a woman to have an open and courageous demeanor.
It was a spirit that was quietly resting on God's goodness that gave Abigail the courage to not keep quiet but to make a bold plea to David, known around Israel to be the next king.
Mary Lee, whenever I think of you, I think of you as constantly laughing and having a good time, just like you said. But I see this as flowing directly from you having a quiet spirit, that is not easily upset and ruffled. Anxious spirits cannot laugh, enjoy themselves, be outgoing, because they are too preoccupied with fear. But when the stillness of trusting the Lord is alive in our hearts and quieting our spirits, only then are we able to enjoy life with lots of vigor and spunk.
Somehow, I'm just now seeing
Somehow, I'm just now seeing this post! And I loved Kaitlyn's comment because she described me pretty well! Thanks for this new insight, Mary Lee. I have always admired your (and your family's) ability to have fun! I can't wait to see you guys next weekend.
Love, Grace
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