However, if we are honest with ourselves, we realize our life is governed by fear. Fear that we will never get married, or never have children, or that our babies will die, or our husband will stop loving us, or our children will not repent, or that the pain in our back will not go away, or that we will not have any friends, or that God will require too much of us. The list goes on and on.
From the time we are little girls, we are fed lies that we can conquer our fears on our own, or maybe with a little help from a medical professional. We are taught to think we are invincible, powerful, strong, independent, and fearless. (What is independence, though, than a fear of depending on others?) If our fear is heights, we should “face that fear” until it is gone. True, we may be able to get over some fears in this way, but what about the big ones? Well, with the big ones we rely on idols to save us. We rely on our education or our job to replace the family we do not have. We rely on medicine to relieve the fear that our babies will die. We rely on baptism or the sinner’s prayer to ease our fear for our child’s salvation. We rely on entertainment to pacify us into a stupor where our fears do not exist. Or we keep our life so busy that we don’t have time for fear. There are as many fear conquering idols as there are women.
How are those idols working out for you? Do your fears still come creeping back in the wee hours of the morning when you can’t fall asleep for the third night in a row? When life suddenly does a big upheaval of all you hold dear, do you find yourself fearless? My educated guess is no. It is no because scripture tells us what we are.
“As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.” Psalm 103:15
“For the sun rises with a scorching wind, and withers the grass; and its flower falls off, and the beauty of its appearance is destroyed; so too the rich man in the midst of his pursuits will fade away.” James 1:11
“All go to the same place. All came from the dust and all return to the dust.” Ecclesiastes 3:20
We are weak and helpless as grass and dust, so it makes sense that we are fearful. We should, ultimately, fear God; the one who can create and destroy, who holds the power in all our other fears. Matthew 10:28 “And do not fear those who kill the body, but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Only when we have a true fear of God and trust the promises made in scripture, will our earthly fears fade. The apostle Peter says we will be Sarah’s children if we “do what is right without being frightened by any fear.” (1 Peter 3:6) Christians do not conquer their fears themselves. They allow their fears to take them to God, humbly and with faith.

Comments
Thank you for this wisdom,
Thank you for this wisdom, Heidi!
Thanks, Heidi. This is a
Thanks, Heidi. This is a wonderful reminder. I think of myself as fearless, then I'm shocked when I realize I'm anxious and fearful about something. But in the godly, fear and love embrace. I fear today when I am neither fearing nor loving God, but rather trying to be a self-made man (I mean woman).
Heidi, A timely reminder for
Heidi,
A timely reminder for me, thank you.
Kamilla
Dear Heidi, This was exactly
Dear Heidi, This was exactly what I needed to read today. I am very fearful, and at times find myself completely given over to fear, until I am rebuked and told to fear God rather than circumstances or man. Lord, have mercy on me and increase my faith.
For a couple years my husband
For a couple years my husband ran a recording studio. He built the business from scratch, steadily purchasing the equipment and learning the trade. We rented a studio space in a Cincinnati community called Northside, which is a rough part of town but also a place full of artists and musicians. The cheap rent along with the "cool" factor worked well. Trouble was, I'd lay awake at night worrying about the recording equipment. If he headed over to the studio, I'd call him "just to say hi" but really to check and make sure it hadn't all been stolen.
One day, it was all gone. Someone broke in and took everything. Thousands of dollars, hundreds of hours of work, everything. I wish I had responded in faith. I was angry and bitter at my husband for somehow allowing this to happen (as if it were somehow his fault that a total stranger had done this.) Slowly God softened my hard, gross heart. He gave me the grace to see that what someone else had meant for evil, he had meant for good.
I idolized those possessions. God caused them to be taken! This was a jealous God who demanded my fear, a loving God who ripped my idol away. I had lived in fear that this exact scenario would occur, and when it did God still stood faithful. The blessings he brought far outweighed the loss. I could tell you of how this pushed us to move to Bloomington, or of how it rebuked my love of money. It certainly taught me the value of responding to trials with a sweet and submissive heart as I looked over the harm I caused by not doing so. Most of all, I started to glimpse what it meant to fear God and experience the peace it brings. I don't often worry about our house being burglarized or our cars being stolen because what have I to fear? God has brought us through something like that already, we know he will care for us just the same should he cause it to happen again.
"without being frightened by
"without being frightened by any fear." 1 Peter 3:6
When I first started learning about biblical womanhood this verse stuck out. Even though I knew a biblical woman wasn't all lace and frills, it still didn't make much sense. I was all for being biblical but the idea of a woman in this day and age being some kind of demure, delicate flower that just rolls over at the first sign of a man, yeah right. And after taking in the first part of the verse, "just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord". "You've got to be kidding. Calling him lord? I get that wives are to submit to their husbands, but lord? Yikes."
Those are things I thought then, and am even tempted to sometimes now. But it is in this that "not fearing anything that is frightening", as the ESV puts it, is absolutely fitting.
Heidi mentioned being afraid that our husbands will stop loving us and along with that is the fear our husbands will stop leading our family well, and even more so that he won't be worthy of our submission. And finally, but definitely not finally, the fear that we're losing ourselves in submitting to a man. It is frightening. Submitting to a fallen man in front of our friends, families, the whole rest of society. Yikes. But truly, it is good. God has made men and women to relate together in this beautiful dance, to reflect something even more beautiful.
Love, honor, and obey...without fear.
Wow. Those last two comments
Wow. Those last two comments could be two new blog posts in and of themselves. Beautiful testimonies. Thank you, Amanda and Becky. Your faith spurs me on.
Amanda and Becky, Michal
Amanda and Becky,
Michal already said this, but I wanted to just thank you for sharing your hearts. How convicting and encouraging.
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